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Ta topic posvečam našemu stvaritelju in gospodu, Velikemu Flying Spaghetti Monsterju, drugače imenovanem tudi FSM, gospodarju vsega česar se dotakne s svojimi špagetastimi priveski (noodly appendages. yup.).
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Tako kot imajo krščani, al karkoli že so, 10 zapovedi, ima FSM tudi svoj sklop zapovedi...
Ampak to niso zapovedi ampak so predlogi! Huzzah!:
1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier Than Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.
6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spend (Take Your Pick):
Ending Poverty
Curing Diseases
Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.
7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
RAmen.
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FURTHER EVIDENCE:
Na grafu vidimo očitno povezavo med številom piratov na svetu in globalnim segrevanjem. FSM zahteva določeno število piratov, in ker jih je na svetu premalo, nas je kaznoval z globalnim segrevanjem.
Torej v dnevih ki jih praznujemo Njemu v čast, in to so vsi petki BTW, se moramo obleči v pirate in tako proslavljat Njegovo Špagetastost.
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“Ye ought not do stuff ye already know is wrong, like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Do ye really need these carved into a rock?”
“Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.”
“Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto you or not, for it maketh you the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One.”
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In na koncu se še lahko vrnemu k naslovu tega threada, ki je verjetno marsikoga zmedel, ampak nobeden nebo izvedel kaj pomeni, ker ste do zdaj že vsi obupali in nehali brati ta thread.
WWAPD = What Would A Pirate Do?
Kadarkoli si v dvomu se vprašaj to, in katerakoli dilema te že muči, odgovor bo jasen.
Fri May 30, 2008 4:27 am
